Monday, August 3, 2009

Time out for Jesus.............

The next portion of this is my life as a Pre-school teacher. I worked at a up and coming Christian facility in a small South Carolina town. In the Palmetto state the kid to teacher ratio was 13-1. So the director assigned 10 boys and 3 girls to my class of 3 year old children. Needless to say this was a challenge being that I was only 18 years old myself.

The director of this facility, lets say her name is Sally, had a very interesting idea of punishment. "Jesus is disappointed!" she would say. Another being " I am going to need you to sit in time out and think about what Jesus would say about your actions!" Now I have nothing against Jesus but I am pretty sure he isn't worried about the fact little Steven kicked me in the shin when I reprimanded him for biting little Sean. The idea of a Religious environment for children was always interesting to me. This environment was particularly interesting to me.

You had your slightly off director and her husband/business partner that was only really around for the maintenance portion. Then there is your very gay but not yet out of the closet assistant director. My personal favorite was our crotchety old lunch lady Miss Janine. She ran a tight ship in that kitchen and you could barely understand a word she said. Miss Janine hated giving away seconds, so god forbid a kid wanted another corn dog or dollop of mashed potatoes. As an adult I even hated to ask her for anything! She could have been a character straight out of the "Black Lagoon" children's book series. You know "Crazy Southern Lunch Lady from the Black Lagoon" or something to that effect. I am pretty sure one of her eyes had a slight twitch to it as well.

Anyhoo, I could go on and on about the staff but really the kids were the gems. Little Steven was practically the devil reincarnate. About once a day his head would spin around and he would spit pea soup. No really, he was a biter, spitter, kicker, hitter, cusser, toy stealer, hair puller, and all around meanie-head. Refused to sit in time out and would do all of these things to me if I tried to make him. Only kid I have ever known to actually get kicked out of daycare.

Second is sweet Enrique. His lovely family moved from Spain in the middle of the school year. He did not speak a lick of English and I did not speak a lick of Spanish. He was the sweetest and most kind little fella in my class. Unless you tried to take away his "Speederman" toy that he brought to school everyday. This "Spiderman" toy was not only the only word he knew in English but it was the only thing he was interested in. If you messed with that toy he was on you like gravy on rice. The great thing about Enrique was that he learned English really quick he also smelled really good. Wish I knew how to get in touch with his mother to find out what kind of laundry detergent she used. Back then I was to embarrased to ask. It was fantastic!

Third there was Buddy. Buddy's dad was a fireman and mommy was a psychologist. I used to watch Buddy at his house when his parents went out for the evening. My fondest moment with Buddy was one evening after watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" in its entirety 3 times. He had a dirty diaper so naturally I changed it. He then proceeds to say "Hey, Hey Miss Lauren. Buddy has a big penis." I was sure that I heard him wrong so I asked him to repeat himself. To my surprise, that was exactly what he said! I waited for the parents to get home. They were drunk, 2 hours late, and they were fully clothed but soaking wet. They explained to me that they had jumped in their neighbors pool to sober up. I then realized that I wasn't dealing with your typical family. I was dealing with a family that teaches their son the meaning of "big penis". A family that waits till they get home to sober up. Every school day after that incident was slightly awkward for me and Buddy's parents. I am sure you understand why.

Last but not least was Cowboy Sean. Sean was the definition of cutie-patootie. On most days his attire was a cowboy hat, boots, Oshkosh overalls, and a button down shirt. He liked to dress that way because he wanted to look like his dad. The exception to this was Halloween. Some young boys want to be cowboys for Halloween. Since Sean was a cowboy everyday he chose to be a Devil. Can you imagine a Devil costume that looks very much like a Carebear? This was it! Red and fuzzy, the horns and the tail each has hearts at the ends. Not a very scary Devil if I do say so myself. Well, here comes Miss Sally the director to ruin Sean's day. She told him, as if this reasoning is going to make any sense to a 3 year old, that his costume was not appropriate for a Christian daycare. She told him that "we" don't like the devil and that his costume was "too scary" for school. She forced that little boy to take off his costume. He cried all day! I personally thought this was a brash decision made by Miss Sally.

Gradually I tired of all the excitment and began looking for other jobs. I heard about nannying and figured I would give it a try. I took a part time position with a family here in Charlotte, NC. I call them my "first family". They will be known as the Flanders' and get ready to hear all about them! Thanks for reading this week guys! Monday I will have a brand new story! I promise to TRY not to disappoint! :)


  1. thanks for popping over to my blog. I have been so busy trying to chase the sun (an impossible task lately) that I have paid little attention to my blog home. Please stick with me and as the Winter rolls around you will be wondering when I will go away.

    Stop by any time, leave lots and lots of comments and if you let me know you are coming I will make a pot of tea - or coffee - or get you a pop.. oh you get the point!

  2. little steven didn't even care that jesus would cry if he didn't sit in time out? shocking! good post! i really enjoyed the descriptions :)

    ps hello!

  3. What a great idea for a blog! : ] I was a nanny for a bit and man is it an..interesting job. : ]