Sunday, September 13, 2009

The most unfortunate...........

Not sure if I have mentioned this yet but almost all of these families live in the same cul-de-sac. If not the same one then the one over. Most are very close and participate in each others block parties, christenings, birthday parties, etc. Years ago there was only one family that didn't. I am going to call them the ''Acorn's" and I worked for them. I guess you could say that this was my first real nanny position.

At the time they had one child that no one in the neighborhood ever saw unless she was getting in or out of the car. "A.J." was a very sweet little girl that, if you didn't know any better, you may have thought she was a deaf mute. Kid didn't say a word most of the time and if you asked her to do something she would just stare at you with this blank look as if you were speaking a foreign language. In fact the only way that I knew for sure she could speak and hear was because she really liked to sing along to my Dwight Yoakam albums. Anyway, A.J's parents were certifiable.

Mother Acorn was in real estate and only worked a few days a week. She got pregnant before she married Mr. Acorn. This caused most of the issues in this house. I personally believe that it is ok to have a baby out of wedlock. I mean divorce is expensive and just because you choose to have the child does not mean that you are going to magically get along. Mrs. Acorn didn't feel the same way. She had A.J., kicked Mr. Acorn out, and became a born-again Christian. Mr. Acorn still had his office in her house and would stop by randomly throughout the day.

You see, he used to be a tennis pro and possibly at some point was a charmer. That charming aspect whittled away throughout the years and he is now weird and socially awkward. It may have something to do with the fact that Mrs. Acorn quit sleeping with him and made him move to a condo across the street. Did I mention that all of this happened AFTER the kid was born? Oh that's right, I did! So eventually they get married and leave the cul-de-sac. They move to a giant house across town that they can't afford.

Going back to before the marriage and the house Mrs. Acorn had a hard time dealing with most things. I guess that is why she stayed in her house most of the time. Poor A.J. never did normal kid stuff. She never had a birthday party with other kids. She had never been in a swimming pool. She was very familiar with the T.V. and basically knew nothing about the outside world. I was not only their childcare provider but also their maid and personal counselor. They would leave dishes and laundry for me from the whole weekend. I am talking about nasty ass curdled milk and such. My main job, as far as I was concerned, was to get this child socialized as quickly as possible. This proved to be a very difficult task.

With all the above things mentioned lets not forget that they were also neurotic first time parents. I truly believe that they loved her and wanted the best for her however keeping her trapped in the house was the worst way to protect her. It took me an entire year to get her excited and comfortable about playing with other children. Then they choose to move her to another neighborhood where their are no other children? Great parenting if you ask me. I always heard about selfish parents that only have children to make themselves feel better or to manipulate the father into marriage. Never thought I would work for one of these families.

One day after they were married Mrs. Acorn came home so excited. She was pregnant. She had decided that she was going to quit her job to stay home with them once he was born. Several weeks later I quit. I hit a point with them where I felt that any day I was going to explode. The day that I left that position was the last day I ever saw or heard from them for almost 4 years. They had to move back into the old house because they couldn't afford the new one. The truth is I don't give two shits about Mr. and Mrs. Acorn. They are horrible people. I do care about the kids! I mean who wants to have their kids sitting around looking like the photo above? I can only pray that they end up as well-adjusted semi-normal kids. Hoping that they play together and learn from each other since they aren't getting it anywhere else. The fact that this may not be possible is the most unfortunate thing of all.

Ok guys, sorry about the rant this week but this family really pisses me off. I love everyone I have ever worked for except these people. On a lighter note, I will be in Germany for Oktoberfest next week and will not be around to post my blog. When I get back you will meet the "Kramer's" and they are freakin' hilarious! I will also tell you one of the funniest stories ever to happen on "Wisteria Lane". (For those of you that ever watched "Desperate Housewives" you will understand.) Thanks for stopping by and have a fantastic week!


  1. dude. people are weird. and kids? they get the worst of it.

    have fun on your trip! :)

  2. Wow. How weird. Those poor kids. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to parent...